Being single is very underrated, and being married very overrated, in my opinion. I've been both for equally as long. And just as being well-married is way more important than simply being married (and nothing is worse than being poorly married!) being well-while-single is all a matter of what you make of it.
I think the hardest part about being single is that since so many people over-value being coupled, single folks tend to be 'left out in the cold' at events, gatherings, (I'm referring to church events mostly). etc. And if you're single and older, it's worse because there are lots of activities for young singles, not so many or none at all for older singles. And church revolves a lot around families. People at church tend to focus on their family and friends, so that leaves singles ignored quite often even in the church.
I think being single can be a vocation and I think more work should be done with respect to thinking and writing about this and glad to see you are doing it.
I really don't think one can be happily married if one has not first learned how to be happily single. Otherwise, one looks for the 'all-in-all' in their spouse, and no human can be that for another. It's very unhealthy. On the other hand, many married couples take their partner and the blessings of having someone who has your back very much for granted.
I can't speak much about the blessings of a good marriage, mine was abusive. But I'm not really impressed with what most folks do with their marriages, which is to be very self-absorbed as a couple, and I'm not sure that is God's intention for marriage; I think couples should share some sort of ministry. It seems to me, once the children are raised, they should have a way to devote their time to God/Community. So it's not all that different really from being single. Minus the intimacy.
I do think the lack of physical affection can be an issue for singles. Especially in a society that is not very; demonstrative, or if one is from a family were there is little affection. Physical touch is important for human health and that is something I think also needs more attention with respect to singlehood.
Perhaps there's a side to the "Is 'single' a vocation?" question that I didn't really get into in the article: If a church community takes "single" to be a vocation (or equivalent), will they be more understanding and welcoming of single folks? As with most aspects of social dynamics, I bet the answer is "It depends ..."
And physical contact is important, even if it's not romantic. I bet all of us could use a hug every now and then. Bring back handshakes, too!
Being single is very underrated, and being married very overrated, in my opinion. I've been both for equally as long. And just as being well-married is way more important than simply being married (and nothing is worse than being poorly married!) being well-while-single is all a matter of what you make of it.
I think the hardest part about being single is that since so many people over-value being coupled, single folks tend to be 'left out in the cold' at events, gatherings, (I'm referring to church events mostly). etc. And if you're single and older, it's worse because there are lots of activities for young singles, not so many or none at all for older singles. And church revolves a lot around families. People at church tend to focus on their family and friends, so that leaves singles ignored quite often even in the church.
I think being single can be a vocation and I think more work should be done with respect to thinking and writing about this and glad to see you are doing it.
I really don't think one can be happily married if one has not first learned how to be happily single. Otherwise, one looks for the 'all-in-all' in their spouse, and no human can be that for another. It's very unhealthy. On the other hand, many married couples take their partner and the blessings of having someone who has your back very much for granted.
I can't speak much about the blessings of a good marriage, mine was abusive. But I'm not really impressed with what most folks do with their marriages, which is to be very self-absorbed as a couple, and I'm not sure that is God's intention for marriage; I think couples should share some sort of ministry. It seems to me, once the children are raised, they should have a way to devote their time to God/Community. So it's not all that different really from being single. Minus the intimacy.
I do think the lack of physical affection can be an issue for singles. Especially in a society that is not very; demonstrative, or if one is from a family were there is little affection. Physical touch is important for human health and that is something I think also needs more attention with respect to singlehood.
Wow! Lots here to explore, thanks for sharing :-)
Perhaps there's a side to the "Is 'single' a vocation?" question that I didn't really get into in the article: If a church community takes "single" to be a vocation (or equivalent), will they be more understanding and welcoming of single folks? As with most aspects of social dynamics, I bet the answer is "It depends ..."
And physical contact is important, even if it's not romantic. I bet all of us could use a hug every now and then. Bring back handshakes, too!